# “Thank you for being Prime,” the impossibly-beautiful anime hologram
stewardess says, as six-axis…

The trash can blushes — pink lights in its undercarriage — and says “excuse
me” before zipping away. I make my way toward the bathroom but…

* * *

“Thank you for being Prime,” the impossibly-beautiful anime hologram
stewardess says, as six-axis manipulators emerge from beneath the arm wrests
and unbuckle my seatbelt, gently pushing me into the aisle. “Welcome to Mars;
please quickly but calmly make your way to the jetway.” As I stumble into the
spaceport, legs numb with gravity adjustment sickness, I trip over a trash-
can.

The trash can blushes — pink lights in its undercarriage — and says “excuse
me” before zipping away. I make my way toward the bathroom but the entrance is
blocked by another machine who has helpfully brought me my suitcase (and is
now using it to prevent another rushed-looking traveller from leaving). The
man gives me a quick apologetic look, then savagely kicks my suitcase.

The urinal will not open its carapace to allow me to piss; it senses that my
karma score is not high enough — a side effect of A short-lived dispute with a
shady third-party seller in 1997. I urinate in a nearby (seemingly non-
intelligent) trashcan instead. I notice that I am not the first; it will need
to be emptied or overflow in about three flights.

By [John Ohno](https://medium.com/@enkiv2) on [November 19,
2017](https://medium.com/p/53043ee52228).

[Canonical link](https://medium.com/@enkiv2/thank-you-for-being-prime-the-
impossibly-beautiful-anime-hologram-stewardess-says-as-six-axis-53043ee52228)

Exported from [Medium](https://medium.com) on September 18, 2020.