layout: post title: Turning down friends created: 1060696620 categories:

• Social Media

In the immortal words of Britney Spears, “Oops…I did it again”. Yesterday, I turned down another Tribe.net friendship link. I had previously rejected Marc Canter, but I didn’t feel so bad about that one. I know of Marc Canter, as does likely anyone interested in social software, but it is more of a knowing in the sense of a planetary body moving between the stars.

I really didn’t want to turn Liz down. In exploring Tribe.net, I had seen her “around” — in a couple of the tribes I either surfed or joined, I saw her as a member, saw some postings, surfed her profile, testimonials, and friends list. “Cool”, I thought to myself, “Looks like an interesting person”. She seems funny and smart, has written some articles for Apple’s “Web Development and Mac OS X” section….I really didn’t want to turn this link down.

But, I’m sticking to my guns. Only people I actually know, or know of through a chain of people I know. Here’s the conversation that bounced back and forth between Liz and I after I declined her invitation:

Hey Liz — thanks for the invite. I am one of those strange people that is experimenting with these social networks, and one of the things that I’m trying to stick to is only adding people that I actually “know”. I have a whole rant about it if you’re interested.

In some ways, that’s why I like the “tribes” concept here — I had actually noticed *your* profile in several areas, surfed some of your friends and testimonials, and thought to myself “Sounds like a cool, interesting person”.

So, tribe-mates for now. Stop in if you’re passing through Ottawa.

No problem - I completely understand. My network is made up of a bunch of people I know in real life, and a bunch who I think I would like. A few have even accidentally turned out to be people I knew years ago but lost touch with.

It looks like tribe.net might tighten the rules soon. If so, then people like me (semi-casual connectors, prolific tribe creators) will move on. It’s a trade-off.

Mmm…interesting. Where did you see this comment about tightening up?

I was just saying the other day that the very fact that you can, potentially, connect with anyone is a very good feature. Especially this message passing as well, since you don’t have to sacrifice a “real” email/IM/other address. Of course, anonymous IM with tribe acting as a proxy would be excellent, too. Probably faster than using this sucky “compose” box…

Marc Canter (the guy with about 150 friends) posted something that implied that. When I asked him in a private message, he just said they were working on a policy of some kind. So it was in no way a for-sure thing.

I was thinking about your rant on my way to run an errand just now. I’ve got a counter-argument, of sorts. I’ve got friends in real life, lots of whom I’ve known for years, if not decades. Lots of their interests have diverged wildly with mine. I went for being an urban geek, some others did too, Some had kids and moved to the ‘burbs, some went full-on burning-man slacker loadie, some stayed in crispy world-traveler-academic mode, etc.

So I wonder. On friendster, my list is only real-life friends. And I see lots of friend-posts I don’t care about. On tribe.net, my list also includes strangers who I’ve selected, and who share many of my current interests. Which group will have information that is more relevant to my life right now?

layout: post title: Imaginary Friends created: 1060833780 categories:

• Social Media

Walter posted this to the Social software intellectuals tribe (hey, I didn’t make up the name…):

“Fraudsters:” pro, con, indifferent?
I’d be curious to hear what you all think about individuals with profiles that aren’t pegged to their actual persona. If someone creates a “Cheez Whiz” or “George Washington” identity, what do they bring to the party? Do they reduce the value/utility of the network as a whole? Discuss.   

Can you imagine LinkedIn with Jesus?

Friendster always seemed more light-hearted, so why not leave the Fraudsters.

Also, kind of depends on how you link. If you link often/casually, then “fake” profiles are no big deal. If you tend to link sparsley/deeply, you’ll skip over those.

I can’t, at the moment, think of how Fraudsters might harm a network, other than by consuming some infinitesmal bit of resources.

Friendster aims to take down not only fakesters’ phony pictures but also those of “realsters” who post images other than of their own faces. That means users who prefer visual anonymity are out of luck — like a friend of mine who pictures his cat on Friendster because he’d once been recognized on the street from his original Friendster profile and didn’t like it.

• [[flancian@social.coop]] https://social.coop/@flancian/110250773927228932 pull

• [[2023-04-24 01:24:35]] [[@flancian:matrix.org]] (link):
  • [[be kind to your forfeited friends]]

• [[flancian@social.coop]] https://social.coop/@flancian/110169756024978375 pull

By [[Phil Levin]], https://supernuclear.substack.com/p/co-buying-property-with-friends. Found via the [[Embassy Network]] Slack.

The entire Supernuclear Substack is a guide to [[coliving]]:

Supernuclear is a guide for people starting coliving communities for their chosen tribe. It’s a 100% free and earnest attempt to help people live their best life with their favorite people.

This article was a really comprehensive overview. Some of it is US centric — both corporate structures and real-estate specific items around investing are different in Canada — but I feel a lot more informed about the process and how to think about some of these concepts.

We’re at the very beginning of this with [[Vancouver CLT]] in gathering some interested people.

Webinar§

• [[flancian]] https://twitter.com/flancian/status/1463055187938103296 pull

• #go https://new-homes-for-old-friends.cairnwater.com/

• [[flaneur@merveilles.town]] https://merveilles.town/@flaneur/110169748803442168 pull

• [[2026-06-07T20:09:46.569Z]] @[[flancia.org]]: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xu4fhdxwmrptiwfvq5ymbkxx/post/3mnpxwv72ln2u pull

• [[2023-04-09 16:15:58+00:00]] @[[flaneur@merveilles.town]] (link):

  • [[Say hello to your forsaken friends]]

    …is how I misremember a great chapter name from [[Stand on Zanzibar]] (of which it has many).

• [[flancian@social.coop]] https://social.coop/@flancian/109581616499408676 pull

• [[2022-12-26 19:39:47+00:00]] @[[flancian]]: https://twitter.com/flancian/status/1607461190401236994 pull

• [[2022-12-26 19:39:47+00:00]] @[[flancian]]: https://twitter.com/flancian/status/1607461190401236994 pull

CW: Flancia

Now I’ll do [[yoga with friends]] :)

Today: [[go/yoga with x]] with [[go/move/26]] in the Agora of Flancia.

• Author:: [[Lindsey Markel]]
• Full Title:: You Are Among Friends
• Category:: [[books]]
• 

  ⥅ [[https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51DirvjFdNL.SL400.jpg]]

• Highlights first synced by [[readwise]] [[September 2nd, 2020]]§

  • Oh, and if you ever ride the MTD in Champaign-Urbana, Illinois—to open the back door, you just press on the door handle. For some reason there are signs and directions that instruct you on how to do everything but that. (Location 328)