Can’t Break Your Heart§

• [[pull]] [[cant break your heart]]

Cant Break Your Heart§

• A [[track]].
  • By [[ezhak]].
  • [[go]] https://geometriclullaby.bandcamp.com/track/cant-break-your-heart

• a [[pattern]]
  • in [[a pattern language]]
    • #129
    • [[prev]] [[intimacy gradient]] [[indoor sunlight]] [[cadcade of roofs]]
    • [[next]] [[farmhouse kitchen]] [[communal eating]] [[the fire]] [[light on two sides of every room]] [[the shape of indoor space]] [[sequence of sitting spaces]] [[outdoor room]] [[arcades]] [[the flow through rooms]] [[short passages]]
  • "the only balanced situation is the one where a common path, which people use every day, runs tangent to the common areas and is open to them in passing."
    • this way people can easily stop as they go about with their day but are not forced to stop.

• #pull [[the shape of my heart]]

• #pull [[the shape of my heart]]

It’s Your Friends Who Break Your Heart§

Metadata§

• Author: [[Jennifer Senior]]
• Full Title: It’s Your Friends Who Break Your Heart
• Category: #articles
• URL: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2022/03/why-we-lose-friends-aging-happiness/621305/

Highlights§

• If our friends become our substitute families, they pay for the failures of our families of origin. Elisa’s was such a mess—a brother long dead, parents long divorced—that her unconscious efforts to re-create it were always going to be fraught.
• Back in the 1980s, the Oxford psychologists Michael Argyle and Monika Henderson wrote a seminal paper titled “The Rules of Friendship.” Its six takeaways are obvious, but what the hell, they’re worth restating: In the most stable friendships, people tend to stand up for each other in each other’s absence; trust and confide in each other; support each other emotionally; offer help if it’s required; try to make each other happy; and keep each other up-to-date on positive life developments.
• “Philip made me feel that my best self was my real self,” he finally said. “I think that’s what happens when friendships succeed. The person is giving back to you the feelings you wish you could give to yourself. And seeing the person you wish to be in the world.”
  • Tags: [[friendship]]
• So now I’m back to thinking about Nora Ephron’s friends, mourning all those dinners they never had. It’s the dying that does it, always. I started here; I end here (we all end here). It is amazing how the death of someone you love exposes this lie you tell yourself, that there’ll always be time. You can go months or even years without speaking to a dear old friend and feel fine about it, blundering along, living your life. But discover that this same friend is dead, and it’s devastating, even though your day-to-day life hasn’t changed one iota. You’re rudely reminded that this is a capricious, disordered cosmos we live in, one that suddenly has a friend-size hole in it, the air now puckered where this person used to be.

• I’ll show you the shape of my heart if you let me, kindly.
  • My heart is in the Agora.

• [[flancian]] https://social.coop/@flancian/108403779286195036 pull

• I’ll show you, and [[moloch]], where my [[heart]] is.
• You can do whatever you think best with that [[information]].

• [[flancian]] https://social.coop/@flancian/109002156640508486 pull

• [[flancian]] https://twitter.com/flancian/status/1570372546318548993 pull

• a [[song]].
  • by [[sting]].
• a [[running joke]].
  • about my sometimes being [[corny]].
  • #pull [[the shape of my heart]]

• [[flancian]] https://social.coop/@flancian/108458887499363500 pull
• [[flancian@social.coop]] https://social.coop/@flancian/110974236809890616 pull

• [[flancian]] https://twitter.com/flancian/status/1535602235064868867 pull

the shape of my heart§

• a [[song]].
  • by [[sting]].
  • a bit corny perhaps? but I think I like it still.
  • #pull [[heart]]
• an [[idea]].
  • I believe my heart is [[agora shaped]].

• [[flancian]] https://social.coop/@flancian/108458887613568969 pull

• [[flancian]] https://twitter.com/flancian/status/1535602536874491905 pull

• [[flancian]] https://social.coop/@flancian/107791097501702812 pull

• [[flancian]] https://twitter.com/flancian/status/1492864525837778950 pull